What to Look For When You Visit Aging Parents During the Holidays
- Cheryl Harris
- Nov 20, 2025
- 3 min read
The holidays bring together family, tradition, and connection. For many adult children, they also offer the best real chance all year to see how their aging parents are doing at home. If you haven’t visited in a while, you may notice subtle (or not-so-subtle) changes that raise questions about safety, independence, and what kind of support your loved one may need.
Below, I’ll walk you through some key things to look for during your visit. These insights come from years of supporting families through senior care decisions, and from walking this road with my own parents, too.
1. the Basics: Cleanliness & Daily Hygiene
Take a gentle, observant look at how well your parents are keeping up with everyday tasks:
Is the house fairly clean and organized? Increasing clutter, piles of laundry, or dishes stacked in the sink can be early signs that routines are becoming difficult.
Are they bathing regularly? Issues with showering, sponge bathing, or general hygiene can indicate mobility challenges, or sometimes even undiagnosed cognitive decline.
Is laundry getting done? If clothes smell musty or piles are growing, it may be time for extra help.
These day-to-day details tell you a lot about whether someone can safely continue living on their own.
2. Can They Still Prepare Meals and Manage the Kitchen?
Healthy aging depends on proper nutrition and food safety. During your visit, check for:
Expired items in the refrigerator
Difficulty preparing simple meals
Reliance on snacks instead of balanced food
Burned pots, scorched towels, or signs of forgotten stovetop use
If cooking has become too difficult, or unsafe, it might be time to bring in support or explore senior living options that include meals.
3. Pay Attention to Mobility & Fall Risks
Falls are one of the biggest dangers for older adults living alone.
Look for:
Difficulty moving between rooms
Trouble getting up from a chair
Holding on to walls or furniture for balance
Recent bruises or unexplained marks
Any history of repeated falls
One fall isn’t necessarily a crisis, but frequent falls or near-misses may signal that more support is needed.
4. If Incontinence Is an Issue, Safety Becomes Critical
This is an area families don’t always want to talk about, but it’s an important, and sometimes urgent topic.
Incontinence requires consistent, thorough cleaning to avoid:
Bacterial infections
Yeast infections
Painful skin breakdown
Ulcers
Hospitalizations
If your parent is incontinent and cannot manage hygiene or laundry independently, this is a clear sign that additional care is needed. In some cases, a senior living community may be the safest temporary solution while health stabilizes.
5. Watch for Signs of Cognitive Decline—Especially Wandering
If dementia is present, safety becomes the top priority.
Ask yourself:
Have they ever wandered off or gotten lost?
Are they forgetting appointments, medications, or recent conversations?
Do they seem more confused than before?
Wandering is a major red flag. If it has happened even once, they need a secure environment right away, either through increased in-home care or memory care placement.
6. Loneliness Is More Serious Than It Sounds
Many adult children don’t spend enough time listening for subtle emotional cues.
If your parent frequently says they feel lonely, on the phone or in person, please take it seriously. Persistent loneliness is linked to cognitive decline, depression, and physical health risks.
You may want to explore:
In-home companion care
Local senior centers
Community engagement opportunities
Assisted living communities with rich social programming
Connection is not a luxury. It’s a critical factor in your loved one’s overall health.
7. Explore the Right Support Options for Your Family
If you notice changes during the holidays, you’re not alone. Many families face these questions this time of year.
Helpful next steps may include:
Bringing in part-time or full-time in-home care to help with meals, hygiene, medication reminders, mobility, and companionship.
Adult day programs which offer structure and social connection for individuals with dementia.
Senior centers for those who are cognitively healthy but socially isolated.
Assisted living or memory carewhen safety, mobility, or cognitive needs exceed what can be managed at home.
The right solution depends on your parent’s physical, emotional, and cognitive needs.
You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone
If you’re unsure what to do, or if the holidays leave you with more questions than answers, I’m here to help.
As a Senior Living Family Advocate, I walk with families through every step:
Evaluating the level of care needed
Exploring in-home support
Understanding assisted living and memory care options
Connecting you to trusted local resources
Easing the emotional load of these decisions
